The baby bomb cyclone rips through L.A. and destroys the Spencer family

For the Week of January 8, 2018
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The baby bomb cyclone rips through L.A. and destroys the Spencer family
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Katie peeped herself a blackmail goldmine, but could the bigger secret be that Bill rigged the paternity test? Should Liam be ashamed for leaving accident-prone Steffy alone on a cliff? Did Carter humiliate himself or give Maya something to think about? It's time to kick off 2018 with the first Two Scoops of the New Year.

If anyone thought we'd start 2018 by waiting on the tea to brew, I have one word for you -- WRONG. The kettle is whistling, the tea is piping hot, and if you didn't believe Steam could burn, think again. Let's get two scoops deep in the shade this week on B&B.

Maya shot down Carter's advances, and after Liam walked out on Steffy, she wished she'd shot Bill's down! It's a good thing that Steffy didn't inherit Stephanie's gun because Liam might have gone "wild, wild Rick" on Bill if Liam had been able to snag a pistol on his way to confront Bill.

Speaking of going "wild, wild Rick," Maya likes her husband better without stripes, so she told Carter that she didn't plan on telling Rick what Carter said. Wise decision. There are just some things a husband doesn't need to know -- like your lawyer is full of typos and unrequited love.

A husband also doesn't need to know that his father made a deposit in his love bank, either, but Steffy can hold a secret for about as long as my mom can hold off on a bathroom break. As my mom says, there's more room out than in; however, the problem with something being out is that anyone with a paper-reading fetish can take it all in.

Just when you thought Katie had her own business to mind and that someone finally kept her out of their secrets, guess who walked right into the cliff house and read all about how Bill and Steffy did a lot more than each other's hair?

Steffy was too dazed to put her papers away or to give Bill a courtesy warning that torpedo Liam was headed toward Bill. The two men dragged each other around Bill's office until they were sweaty and breathless on the floor.

Liam did his usual necklace rip off routine, but in a scene for the ages, Bill cried on his knees, begging Liam not to leave Steffy and the baby. Bill never cried and begged on his knees for the love of Brooke. Did he do it for the love of family or the love of Steffy? For the love of Liam, did Bill make the ultimate sacrifice by altering the paternity test results?

The Bomb Cyclone swept up the East Coast, and it spun off the Baby Bomb Cyclone that whipped straight into Los Angeles and blew up the Spencer family. It left me with questions: Why would Liam think Wyatt was the other man? Why would Liam and Katie think Bill forced Steffy into revenge sex? Can Steffy survive this crisis without a near-death experience?

And most importantly, when will Carter ever see that I am the woman he's been looking for?

The doggone girl is Rick's
"Things happen. Sometimes, marriages work. Sometimes, they don't."

Sometimes, you feel like a nut, and this time, you ought to, Carter, because the Raya marriage works. I don't care what you and Nicole think, but it works for me and for Maya and Rick, too.

Everybody knows I hated Raya. I couldn't stand how they'd gotten together, and I was disgruntled over how Rick did Caroline over a kiss. I swear, these damn kisses! One spouse kisses someone, and the other one goes off for revenge sex. It's illogical.

Over the years, Rick and Maya really sold me on their love. I haven't seen a couple so down for each other since The Young and the Restless' Chelsea and Adam. When Raya opened the new year all kissy, kissy, Maya and Ricky, I smiled and chuckled to myself. I was even cheesing when that handsome Carter strolled in -- until he opened his mouth against Raya.

Maya twisted over to Carter, eager for some good gossip. What she got was an Ex-Lover Bomb Cyclone whipping old wind all up in her face a few years too late. Carter buttered her up by telling her that she was a strong, beautiful woman, but then he dropped the cliché and stale ex-lover line -- "I miss you."

On New Year's Eve, Carter must have been like LL Cool J, at home alone and staring at the wall. In the back of his mind, he heard his conscience call. It was telling him that he needed a girl that was sweet as a dove, and for the second time in his life, he could see he needs love.

We saw a flashback of the Maya and Carter romance, but let me tell you what we didn't see. There wasn't a single flashback of Carter and Oliver rolling their eyes at each other while watching Maya come on to Rick. We didn't see any flashbacks of Carter trying to tell people that Maya was a gold digger, either.

That is why Carter and Maya broke up, isn't it? Maya went after Oliver for being a gold digger and then decided that if he could do it, she was going to get Rick back. She almost scared the towel off Rick when she slinked up on him in the steam room, and he had to set her straight about his marriage to Caroline.

Carter was upset with Maya because she broke up with him to be a manipulating gold digger, and by the way she shipped off Zende and Nicole, it's evident that Maya is still manipulative. Carter doesn't want a manipulative woman. If he's lonely, I still have a piece of mistletoe left above my door. If he insists on Maya, he can do me a favor and slip Rick my picture.

Maya is really in a predicament, caught between two sexy and successful men. I'm happy to take either she doesn't want. The unwanted one appears to be Carter; however, he said one never knows if a marriage will work out, and if her situation changes, she isn't out of options.

In my mind, Maya doesn't need options, but I was quizzical about why Nicole felt the need to advise Rick on how to spice up a marriage. I also wondered if I saw a look of consideration on Maya's face. Is Raya headed for future problems? I remember Rick and Caroline had been solid before Maya tried her ex routine on Rick, and look at what happened.

For now, Maya handled it like a boss wife when Carter said he had to wonder if Rick was right for her. "Well, I married him, so yeah," she responded. Then Carter told her that he knew her, and he couldn't help but think something was missing. I was like, "What's missing? Punctuation and other things that amount to clerical errors?" Yes, scoopers. I now question how Lizzy's paperwork came up a year later with "clerical errors." Had Carter tried to start drama back then?

Maya made it clear to Carter that there was a woman for him, but she isn't the one. She decided not tell her gun-slinging husband about it. That's the best favor she can do Carter because Rick already told her that a masseur can't even massage her. If she tells Rick about this, Rick is liable to pop a cap in Carter and claim not to remember it like he didn't remember shooting Grant.

What do you think? Was Carter's declaration too much, too little, or too late for Maya to ever try again? Was the scene this week set up to break up Raya or to reintroduce Carter as an eligible bachelor for a completely different romance?

We had it all...just like Bogie and Bacall.
"What were you doing in my purse anyway?" "Are you kidding me?"

No, Liam. Steffy isn't kidding you. When cheaters get caught, they turn the blame around on you. First it's, "I gotta get some water." That's just to buy some time so they can act like they don't remember what you were discussing when they return to the conversation, and you have to wave paternity tests in their faces to remind them.

Next, cheater blames you for finding the evidence. Why are you in my purse? Why did you go in my phone, on my social media, on my Tinder profile? After that, the cheater equivocates when you know good and damn well kissing doesn't equal screwing.

Lastly, the cheater tries to get you to just forget about it because the baby is yours, anyway, and you guys didn't even need the test. The cheater asks you to carry on like you didn't even see it. Except if you do that, you have to stare in the face of every man and have a suspicion montage in your head set to Michael Jackson's song, "Who Is It?"

Similar to the song lyrics, Liam was at the cliff house, saying, "She promised me forever...we made a vow to live a life anew...it was a promise so untrue! Tell me what will I do...Who is it? Is it a friend of mine? Who is it? Is it my brother? Who is it?"

"Bill!" Steffy screamed.

Liam looked as if he'd stopped breathing and died standing up. While it's a good thing Steffy finally got it off her chest, if she had exercised some common sense, we wouldn't even be in this situation. First of all, common sense tells you not to sleep with your father-in-law or any in-law. But since she did it, the next thing common sense should have told Steffy was not to take a paternity test home.

The whole time Steffy held that paper while talking to Dr. Campbell, I was thinking, girl...you better leave that paper where you found it. Dr. Campbell should have asked Steffy if she really wanted to walk out of the office with the Baby Bomb Cyclone in her purse.

When Liam got it and read it, my next thought was that common sense would tell Steffy to lie about it. I mean, she is Ridge's daughter. He's the king of lies and secrets. To be fair, Steffy did try to lie. She called them routine tests, but Liam was like, "Nah, dude. There's nothing routine about a paternity test." She couldn't figure out to say it was a stranger in a bar?

Paternity tests aren't routine, but it is routine to blame Steffy's cheating on Wyatt, coercion, or both, and Liam had the gall to ask if the other man was Wyatt! Did Liam blame Wyatt for it when Steffy married Wyatt of her own free will? This time, Liam apparently thought Wyatt hadn't been fazed to hear Steffy was pregnant even though it could have been his.

When Liam found out it was Bill, Liam concluded that it had been Bill's revenge. I really don't understand where Liam or Katie get the idea that Steffy was Bill's victim. Liam didn't keep up that train of thought, but Katie insisted that Bill had taken advantage of Steffy. Can anyone explain why it has to be that Bill was the one in control? That Bill mind-screwed Steffy into it, and she was powerless to resist?

No one can convince me that Steffy does anything she doesn't want to do. Steffy is no one's victim. Her character is the opposite of that, and she detests Sally for being a victim. Steffy actually is pretty loyal, too. So what would make her soberly sleep with Bill under any circumstances other than Liam being gone or dead?

A kiss or worry about Liam's loyalty isn't enough to make Steffy go off and sleep with Bill while stone cold sober. I even would have given the writers a break if they'd drugged her up like Caroline, because a poor excuse is better than Steffy not knowing or remembering.

Something is fishy about that night to me, especially Steffy's claim that she can't remember it. To Katie, Steffy even remarked that she didn't know what had caused her to "wake up next to him." That's a bizarre statement. I'm thinking the sex had to have happened because Bill flashes back on it every five minutes. The writers should give us some hint as to what horrible thing about it made her block it out.

Liam refuses to be like his father, but instead of going out of his way to right his father's wrongs in his own life, Liam decides to go out of his way to ruin his marriage, his future, and his child's future by leaving Steffy and blaming it all on Bill. This is an act far more selfish than Liam claims Bill is, but this isn't the first time that Liam is willing to destroy everything Spencer due to his own feelings, as evidenced by the CEO seat blackmail and game of demolition chicken.

I am not the one to know how Liam is supposed to get past it and continue a marriage with Steffy, but I disagree with Liam blaming Bill for Liam's choice to walk out on her. Let me put it this way, if Nicole can get over Zende sleeping with her sister twice, then Liam can get over this for the sake of his baby.

Liam might come around, and hopefully, Steffy can last long enough for him to do so. Steffy is accident-prone, and her proclivity to get hurt intensifies with stress. Liam knows this, which is another reason his decisions are so selfish.

Liam was there when, while mourning her relationship with Bill, Steffy almost drowned. Liam was there when she flipped an ATV while upset over her husband -- which was Liam at the time -- chasing another woman. Liam wasn't there, but surely he knows she fell off a cliff when she was upset about him marrying Hope in Italy.

Steffy miscarried their first baby, and if Liam cared for her and the child, he wouldn't be putting them through undo stress. He literally had to drag Steffy across the front walkway because, on her knees, she wouldn't let go of him. Liam doesn't want Bill to tell him how to be a father, but someone needs to if this is how Liam takes care of his unborn child.

Katie was right that Steffy shouldn't be alone, and Liam shouldn't have left Steffy alone on a cliff, where she could fall off it or jump off of it. When she meandered around the gardens to the beach, I completely expected her to walk herself into the ocean.

It actually was a good thing that Katie was there to help Steffy keep it together, but by the way Katie was talking about Bill, I smell some blackmail or some brand of Katie's stalkerish browbeating in his future. You know, the kind where she pops up everywhere her target is to berate him endlessly about his secret, no matter how public the place.

So what do you guys think? Are Liam's reactions appropriate for the situation, or does he need to calm down and think about someone other than himself for a change? Is it fair of him to claim that he and Steffy had it all until Bill ruined it? Doesn't Steffy deserve some blame, but also some pregnancy empathy, from the father of her baby?

I understand Liam's need to act out and be upset, but is it worth the risk of living through another miscarriage because he feels angry and betrayed at the moment? I don't know. What can we expect from a man who suggested Hope abort Wyatt's baby, right?

Whoop! There it is! Whoop! There it is!
"It's none of your business." "It might not be, but there it is."

Inspector Katie solved another mystery, and she didn't even need her go-go gadget telescope to do it. Katie relied on her history with Bill, and with a little help from her go-go gadget nose, she solved the case of Bill's mysterious gift-giving. Even though Bill had a miscarriage with his sister-in-law while married to Katie, Katie was astounded to learn that Bill slept with his daughter-in-law, who subsequently had to get a paternity test for her new pregnancy.

Katie remembered that past is prologue, and the moment she heard Bill was handing out multi-million-dollar gifts, she knew he was guilty about something or guilty of something. An unsettled look crawled over her face when she heard that the gift was for Liam. She had to be wondering what Bill had done to Liam.

The trip through PCH traffic turned out to be worth it for Katie the moment she found Steffy's paternity test on the end table in Steffy's house. Katie arrived for a meeting, but Steffy wasn't in the house. She called Steffy's phone, and it rang on the table. Katie went to the table to pick up the phone, but when she saw the paternity test, she picked it up instead.

Because who doesn't enter through open doors and rifle through belongings instead of calling the police out of concern for the absent homeowner?

Though nosy Katie has the habits of criminals, her being there to help Steffy cope with Liam leaving her was fitting. Katie had also been there in the same house, probably on the same sofa, with Steffy when she'd coped with her miscarriage. Just like back then, Liam was off in his own feelings while Steffy dealt with the fallout alone.

Let Liam tell it, Steffy can take care of herself. She always does. It is just that type of thinking that allows him to rescue other women and forces her to act stronger than she might really be.

Katie tried to console Steffy, and Steffy was relieved that Katie wasn't judging her. Katie asked who she was to judge -- and then preceded to judge anyone involved who wasn't in the room. Katie defended Liam for kissing Sally during a near-death experience. "He's human," she said. But in another breath, she reminded Steffy of all the heartbreak Liam had caused her by bouncing back and forth between Steffy and Hope. Katie needs to make up her mind. Either he's human, or he has a pattern that Steffy has a right to worry about him repeating.

The next words out of Katie's mouth were a judgment on Bill, the head of the family. In her view, the fish rots from the head. All Bill does is take and try to control the family until "we" leave him. I'm sorry to have to inform Katie, but Bill left her. He did it twice. And as I recall, Katie wasn't very understanding of people being just "human" when Brooke admitted having lingering feelings for Bill.

Katie also didn't defend Brooke as Bill's victim, but when Steffy actually sleeps with Bill, Katie won't even let Steffy say Bill hadn't taken advantage of her. Steffy stated that she couldn't say such a thing, and Katie was like, "Well, I'm saying it for you."

This is the type of thing that I keep telling you guys is the problem with men getting falsely accused of sexual misconduct and worse. When it was Caroline, she outright told Thomas that he did it to her, but then she decided it wasn't true. Steffy tells people outright that is wasn't that way, but they tell her it was! Writers, please. We viewers need you to be very clear about sexual consent.

Steffy made Katie swear to keep quiet about it, but Katie's word and five dollars will get you a five-dollar footlong at Subway. Oh, it's six dollars now? Well, her word is even more worthless. Who will Katie tell first? Will it be Wyatt? Or will it be Brooke, Bill's estranged wife?

Katie would relish leaking it "unintentionally" to Brooke just for the satisfaction of seeing Brooke's face when Brooke learns that her husband not only isn't thinking about her, but he already moved on to a new obsession. I know one thing: when Brooke finds out, she'd better not twist her mouth to make a judgment when she had a child by her son-in-law.

If Katie doesn't run into Liam first, she'll probably shoot herself like a poisoned ex-wife dart right into Bill's office to give him yet another dressing down about hurting Liam and being an all-around pig of a man. If Katie plays her cards right, maybe she can blackmail out of Bill the deed to the beach house for Wyatt in exchange for her silence.

I think it's safe for Katie to tell Bill that she's sleeping with Wyatt while she's at it. As a matter of fact, she might want to use Bill's indiscretion to soften the blow as she announces her and Wyatt to other people. "Hey, Ridge, did you know Bill slept with your daughter? Oh, and I'm with Wyatt," Katie can say to Ridge. To Steffy, Katie can say, "No, I'm not judging you, just like you won't judge me for sleeping with my ex-stepson, right? Right?"

Dollar Bills...they don't cry. That's just an alibi.
"I won't let him down. I'll be the father he thinks I am."

If you want to be the father Liam thinks you are, don't change a damn thing, Bill, because Liam loathes you just the way you are. No amount of kombucha in the world can change it.

Bill's two-to-one vote rig thingy can't help it. Justin can't hire a hacker, arsonist, or fake doctor to hack it, burn it, or cure it. Bill can't demolish a building, lock an ex in a gondola, or hire a Cabo mariachi band to chase it away. It's way too big to hide it under a bed. What Bill did to Liam is bigger than anything Hope could ever swing a golf club at.

We thought Bill had problems before, but now he's got bad blood, literally, and it's smeared all over his face, mixed in his own tears as he sobs on the floor of his office in "Sky's" shadow. If you're a Bill fan who missed it, I'm inclined to tell you not to look at it because seeing Bill like that was just as disturbing to me as the first time I saw my own father cry.

However, because it was just that disturbing, if you love Don Diamont's acting, you can't not see the performance. The acting from everyone involved has been spectacular, and just when you think they can't possibly get any more emotional in this storyline, Diamont breaks your heart, Clifton makes you think Liam's about to kill his dad with a sword charm, and I am really not kidding when I say Wood's acting made me certain Steffy would walk herself into that ocean.

These actors had unyielding support from the rest of the cast. We could feel Justin's concern and frustration about Bill's latest mess. We could see the wheels in Katie's head turning as she took in clues from Wyatt's statements. Her reluctance but need to support Steffy was clear though Heather Tom's fiddling and stammering. Also clear, at least to me, was that Katie still hurts over her relationship with Bill.

Even though the acting was stellar, it didn't hide some of the revisionist history about Liam's past. When Wyatt spoke about Liam -- and Darin Brooks always makes me feel where Wyatt is coming from even with just the look on his face -- Wyatt said that Liam hadn't had anyone growing up, as if Kelly had died when Liam was young.

The theme continued when Liam asked Bill if his mother had been beautiful, as if Liam didn't remember what she looked like. From my recollection, Liam's mother told him about his father on her deathbed, and shortly after her death, Liam traveled to L.A. to find his father. I don't recall if Liam said back then that Kelly had warned him against finding Bill, but I don't think Liam was turned off by finding his father until he learned what kind of man Bill was.

Bill looked to Liam to unite the family because Bill didn't know how to, but all Liam had for Bill was resentment. Bill didn't expect much else from Liam, but on his knees, Bill begged Liam not to abandon the child over it. Bill is right. When Liam gets over this, he will be sitting around like Thomas, feeling ripped off for missing the pregnancy and moments of the child's life.

Bill has never been in a more helpless and vulnerable situation. Katie is accurate about the Spencers walking out on Bill. Karen hardly speaks to him. Caroline took her man prize and left. Liam is done with Bill again, and Bill might not have anyone but Will after Wyatt hears what happened. Steffy might still be on Bill's side, and if Liam continues punishing himself, Steffy, the baby, and Bill over this, Bill and Steffy might wind up together, raising Liam's baby.

If it's Liam's baby, that is. Some viewers think Dr. Campbell praised Steffy a little too much for how well she handled the samples and wonder if the lab botched the tests or if Bill changed the results in an effort to save Liam's marriage.

It seems unlikely to me that Bill altered the tests. Bill seemed to want Steffy and the baby, and he seemed to actually be waiting for the results. He'd even started to tell Steffy he'd be with her and the baby until she blurted out that it wasn't his. We'd be interested to hear your take on it in the comments below.

In a look ahead

According to Soap Central's The Scoop for B&B, which you can read here, we meet the new Hope Logan. Ridge brought Donna back to town for the holidays, and he has persuaded Hope to return to stay. Upon learning that Hope is in town, Sally promptly advises Hope of her intentions toward Liam. Get ready for a love square, if that's even a thing.

Thorne and Ridge do not get along, and for some reason, Hope and Rick will quarrel. That's peculiar because Rick usually adores his sisters. Rick and Thorne will team up for a presentation to Eric, so maybe Hope will side with Ridge, the one who brought her back to the dance. Lastly, there are rumored casting calls for the role of Zende, but I say it's simpler just to leave Zende in Paris and pair Nicole with Carter.

Until we scoop again, l hope those on the East Coast stay warm in the aftermath of the Bomb Cyclone, and I'm sure someone can use the following ex-lover relationship advice. If you want to hook back up with your ex, you should at least get a new job, so your ex's spouse isn't your boss by the time your make your move. And if you expect your ex to actually leave that rich spouse, your pitch had better be bold and beautiful, baby!

THE BEST AND WORST OF 2017: THE YEAR-IN-REVIEW COLUMNS
The Best and Worst of The Bold and the Beautiful: Part One (Chanel) | Part Two (Mike)
The Best of Days of our Lives | The Worst of Days of our Lives
The Best and Worst of General Hospital: Part One | Part Two
The Best and Worst of The Young and the Restless: Part One | Part Two

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